Street Etiquette (Installment 3)

This will be the last in this series of posts. I don't want to be accused of being unfair... oh well, I've never been PC anyway, so screw it.

It is not an acceptable practice to “be frontin’” when one is in a hood that is not one’s own.

If one is dealing with “the man” on a neighborhood issue, it is unacceptable to answer their questions with “Yeah, that mutherfucker lives over there…”

Smoking all of a proffered blunt is bad form. One should always share the blunt with everyone present.

When busting a cap in someone’s ass, if one hits an innocent bystander, it is unacceptable to say “Daaaaaaaamn check that fool’s head!!!” to other innocent bystanders.

Forty ounces of malt liquor is not a great deal for two people. When “chillin’” or kickin’ it” with the homeboys, you may want to have extras on hand.

If someone approaches you to purchase a “rock” it is both unacceptable and unwise to sell them an actual rock.

When meeting a girl’s father for the first time, it is rude to begin the conversation about his daughter with “You ever hit that?”

Always raise one’s ride to at least ten inches BEFORE going over the speed bump… you will avoid an embarrassing situation.

When rapping in a contest, let the other rapper finish before calling him a punkass bitch.

If you are pulled over by the police at an inopportune time, it is best to use one’s own ID, (if one has one) and not the driver’s license of the Asian market owner you just robbed… the police will know the difference.

When fleeing at high speed from the police… remember to use the carpool lane. Only SLOWER traffic should be in the outermost lane. If one’s tires have been blown out due to, spike strip, bullets, bad judgment, etc. then you may use the outer lane.

When at a family gathering, try to keep the mothers of your children from feeling uncomfortable by spending time with ALL of them. Don’t just abandon them because you have become attached to a “new bitch”.