tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50026762011-04-21T11:41:01.667-07:00Raised on RitalinBelieve it or not...
The words to the Island nation of Haiti's national anthem actually include "gonna build a raft out of inner-tubes and get the hell out of here..."Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comBlogger1021100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-1111563535581462992005-03-22T23:27:00.000-08:002005-03-22T23:38:55.583-08:00Okay. I admit it. I have been really rotten at this. I haven’t posted in far too damn long, and never with anything other than a goodbye comment to someone who recently passed.I guess I just needed some new inspiration.I seem to have found it... I went back to the theatre. And, when I say the theatre, I don't mean a movie house, I mean I went back to the thing that drew me to acting so many Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-1108187419684030262005-02-11T21:44:00.000-08:002005-02-11T21:50:19.686-08:00Wow, I guess I have become a bit of a ghoul... but I only seem to post in this when somone dies...Tonight I say goodbye to Arthur Miller. I had the good fortune to meet Mr. Miller and share a meal... celebrated his birthday with him. He was a gentleman... he was thoughtful... he was a genius... and he was, as his work always left no doubt, oh so very human.Thank you for a life in the Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-1106515120951658882005-01-23T13:17:00.000-08:002005-01-23T13:18:40.950-08:00I grew up with him... goodbye Johnny, you were the man.Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-1099512090607750182004-11-03T11:58:00.000-08:002004-11-03T12:01:30.606-08:00To anyone who might read this from a country other than the United States...
We are overrun. All is lost here. The narrow minded zealots have control. Some of us are very sorry for what awaits us all.
Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-1090969083473045062004-07-27T15:57:00.000-07:002004-07-28T10:08:46.913-07:00Diary of a Rock Superstar
I always thought that being in a band would get me laid… but I was not prepared for the effect it would have on my life.
Most people would assume that I have a carefree and happy existence, free from the worries of the “common man,” but they would be wrong. I worry… I worry about things as much as the next guy. In fact, I probably worry a little more than the next Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-1090531634382385032004-07-22T14:16:00.000-07:002004-07-22T14:27:14.383-07:00I have to say that I have been glad lately when I watch the news... because once again, I get to see and hear the man who reinvigorated my passion for politics so many years ago... Bill Clinton.
I have always been a fan of this man , and while he may make some on both the right, and left angry, I have always seen him as a true moderate. A man who would make tough decisions on either side of Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-1088793528666299752004-07-02T11:36:00.000-07:002004-07-02T11:38:48.666-07:00To paraphrase "The Wild One," we're gonna miss you Johnny. It won't be the same without you...
Marlon Brando - 1924-2004
Hope you are riding in a car somewhere on a desolate highway with Jimmy, and Monty, and a bottle of hootch...Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-1088464075499197452004-06-28T16:06:00.000-07:002004-06-28T16:07:55.500-07:00The militants have captured more innocents... the madmen control the world, both directly and indirectly.
Saw Fahrenheit 9/11 this weekend... and I fear the temperature grows ever hotter.
God help us all.Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-1087589424976072192004-06-18T13:08:00.000-07:002004-06-18T13:10:24.976-07:00Today with the execution of Paul Johnson, we as a species, as we did after the execution of Nick Berg, the planes slamming into the WTC, everytime we kill one another for whatever reason... have slipped ever further into the abyss that lies within the mouth of madness.Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-1085558512264379302004-05-26T01:01:00.000-07:002004-05-26T01:01:52.263-07:00All I can say today is...
Friends can be such a mixed blessing. Just try to throw a party sometime, and you'll find out.Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-1084918894449450792004-05-18T15:20:00.000-07:002004-06-08T14:33:43.210-07:00Well, it's been awhile again... so here are more of my patented attacks on the "vertically challenged", in the form of my:
Midget Haikus
Tiny, his name is
His dribbling skills respected
He cannot slam dunk
Small with huge afro
He walks the dark streets alone
One badass midget
Dwarf am I, says he
Little Person if you care
I make midgets mad
Angry, his mask gone
The Loser he stands alone
Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-1082615992402253752004-04-21T23:39:00.000-07:002004-04-21T23:43:52.700-07:00Well, it’s been a really weird day. We adopted a Chow Chow today from the animal shelter. He is a very sweet dog, whom we have decided to call Mushu. Bearnaise, our resident Chow, has not been aggressive towards him, but she is none too pleased at this interloper on her territory... I think they should learn to ignore each other, but it will take time. He is sleeping in the kitchen right nowCarloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-1079658990881749572004-03-18T17:16:00.000-08:002004-03-18T17:22:57.983-08:00J.J. Jackson, one of the original five MTV VJ's died Wednesday while driving home. I had met him only recently, and he was a great guy, friendly, grinning, laughing, and loving music, as always... he was also a part of my past, a part of MTV, a person who somehow changed my life just by hosting music videos and making the eighties that much more interesting. MTV went off like a bomb in my lifeCarloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-1079569012450578192004-03-17T16:16:00.000-08:002004-03-17T16:44:53.140-08:00I would just like to congratulate the new Spanish Prime Minister José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero, on not only his election, but his willingness to tell the truth about President Bush and the lying Neocons who now control the government here in the US. Thank you sir, I hope you have a successful and fruitful term of office. Hopefully in November the American people will rise with one voice and get Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-1079040683518020092004-03-11T13:31:00.000-08:002004-03-12T16:46:47.170-08:00Today bombs tore through the transit system in the city of my birth. Today over 190 of those who share half my blood spilled theirs and died by merely going to work, or to run errands, or by just living life. Today the terrorists claimed responsibility for the cowardly act, and called it retaliation for a war we should never have begun. Today the leader of my country, a man whose lies led to Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-1077130682132599372004-02-18T10:58:00.000-08:002004-02-18T11:00:38.466-08:00Howard Dean dropped out of the presidential race today. Now, to most Americans, this probably doesn’t come as much of a surprise, and it probably doesn’t upset them as it does the legions of Deaniacs out there.
But it should…
What happened to Howard Dean is an example of a huge problem in America. The MYTH of the liberal media… Dean was a frontrunner; Dean spoke out loudly against corporateCarloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-1077054499833490832004-02-17T13:48:00.000-08:002004-02-17T13:50:54.936-08:00The Ten Commandments of the Church of Elvis
I. Thou Shalt not have any other King before Elvis, thou shalt not worship Tom Jones particularly.
II. Thou Shalt not covet or eat thy neighbor’s peanut butter and ‘nana sammich… especially the eating thereof.
III. Thou Shalt remember the Toilet Room and keep it holy, for this is where He left this mortal Earth.
IV. Thou Shalt keep a chimp in thy Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-1076702179981189362004-02-13T11:56:00.000-08:002004-02-13T14:32:38.326-08:00Today’s entry is a recipe for beef stew… Enjoy!
What you’ll need –
One Stove – Hot
One pan – No holes
One spoon or spoonlike object
One can opener or large rock
One can of Beef Stew
1.) Open can of stew, if this cannot be done easily, ask a neighbor to open it for you, or use rock.
2.) Sniff Contents for traces of botulism.
3.) Taste contents for traces of botulism.
4.) Wait to see if Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-1076620148079816442004-02-12T13:09:00.000-08:002004-02-12T13:11:37.043-08:00Well, things are getting better. Today while getting my light lunch at Subway… I saw midgets. My friend hadn’t seen them, and made a comment on the height of a sign that was advertising the new salads at Subway. Thus I got to point out his inadvertent faux pas, which made me pretty happy… that, and I saw midgets. Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-1076459113863453822004-02-10T16:25:00.000-08:002004-02-13T12:06:14.716-08:00Well, I guess I have been really piss-poor in my updating of this tome. I really have no excuse other than the fact that for a while, the muse has simply not been upon me. I can’t explain it, I just know that whatever force drives me to write the drivel I post here has not been present… I have tried to come up with premises for the (hopefully) funny things that I like to place here, but my Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-1072349647861953802003-12-25T02:54:00.000-08:002003-12-25T02:55:30.920-08:00So here I sit, and all I can say is Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night... and of course let's throw Bush out of the White House in 2004, no more squatters in chiefs!!!!!Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-1069451222736506872003-11-21T13:47:00.000-08:002003-11-21T13:47:40.716-08:00Wow, it's been just a little too long since I updated the blog.
Went to London, met Neil Innes... very cool. Went to New York, met Marky Ramone... very cool. Went to Maui, met no one, hung out on beach... SUPER cool.
Glad to be back in Cali.
I will try to update a little more frequently. Thank you Cleveland, we love you... goodnight!!!!
Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-1064334902113598352003-09-23T09:35:00.000-07:002003-09-23T09:35:01.820-07:00Well folks, I know I haven't really posted here for awhile, so I am saying that I will be incommunicado just a bit longer. I have been preparing for a business trip to London, and now the time has come for me to actually go to the UK.
I will add more when I can...
On a side note, I think my shampoo attracts flies. At least, I hope it's the shampoo...Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-1060907063301744082003-08-14T17:24:00.000-07:002003-08-14T17:28:53.263-07:00Street Etiquette (Installment 3)
This will be the last in this series of posts. I don't want to be accused of being unfair... oh well, I've never been PC anyway, so screw it.
It is not an acceptable practice to “be frontin’” when one is in a hood that is not one’s own.
If one is dealing with “the man” on a neighborhood issue, it is unacceptable to answer their questions with “Yeah, that Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-1059703529581573462003-07-31T19:05:00.000-07:002003-07-31T19:05:29.530-07:00Street etiquette (Installment 2) –
At public functions one should always make sure that there is ample ammo for celebratory gunfire, AND busting caps in people’s asses, to run out would be embarrassing, especially if one is getting “dissed”.
One should always sell the specified amount of crack to one’s clients. It is immoral to cut up macadamia nuts and pass them off as “badass shit”. Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-1059519658008421632003-07-29T16:00:00.000-07:002003-07-31T19:07:16.970-07:00Street Etiquette (Installment 1)–
It is impolite to light up one’s crack with your bunkmate’s last pair of socks.
When bringing a crack-ho to a gathering it is considered bad form to refrain from sharing her services while stealing the host’s stereo to sell for crack.
Never shit in the middle of a room without at least putting a plastic cup or Ritz box over it to keep others from soiling Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-1057272309496971782003-07-03T15:45:00.000-07:002003-07-03T15:45:09.390-07:00For some reason I have been sitting here thinking of great seventies movies I haven’t seen in awhile, (some of them since the actual decade) and I am wondering if they still hold up. Her are a few in no particular order:
Nashville – Altman’s magnum opus… still fresh today? – last seen 1980’s
The Bad News Bears – Is Tanner still funny all these years later? – Last seen 1980’s
Paper Moon – Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-1056606827142211802003-06-25T22:53:00.000-07:002003-06-25T22:56:30.420-07:00Here is something my girlfriend Anne wrote in honor of Anybodies' passing today... I think she said it well.
Anybodies
Small
Soft with Golden Light
Sweet Breath of Morning
Love unconditional and pure
Back and forth wagging tail with joyful purpose
Greeting all with enthusiasm and cheerfulness
Warmth blankets the family
She loves
Now
Gone before us
The quiet envelops the house
Yet in the Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-960231292003-06-25T10:40:00.000-07:002003-06-25T10:40:02.303-07:00Simple entry today...
Today, my beloved Golden Retriever Anybodies, died in my arms at around 9:30 AM. She did not suffer. I will miss her more than I can express. I loved her dearly.
Anybodies
1991-2003
My AngelCarloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-959729102003-06-23T23:41:00.000-07:002003-06-23T23:42:58.000-07:00My apologies folks... when it rains it pours. I just found out today that my dog may have cancer... I have had her for ten years and I may have to put her down on Wednesday... The next couple of days are going to be hell for me. Please bear with me right now as I am in a lot of pain.
Me
Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-958555772003-06-20T00:38:00.000-07:002003-06-20T00:43:07.000-07:00So, I just wanted to mention that yesterday, June 19th was the 50th anniversary of the murder (And that's what it is folks... don't believe them when they use nice words to describe the taking of a human life... it's murder... period.) of two American citizens by witchhunting right-wingers. Julius and Ethel Rosenberg, you will not be forgotten by those of us who see the same kind of madmen in Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-957363962003-06-16T18:24:00.000-07:002003-06-16T18:24:22.350-07:00I have decided to create my own tenets of wisdom, some of them will now follow:
1.) It is unwise to let one’s tendency for flatulence to be known amongst one’s enemies.
2.) The day begins with a ray of light and ends with a wisp of darkness… this means nothing to you on a personal level, but is very pretty.
3.) When darkness falls it is unwise to be in the forest alone wearing nothing but meatCarloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-956094282003-06-12T16:57:00.000-07:002003-06-12T16:59:15.000-07:00Sorry to all of you who have checked this for an update lately and found that there was none. I have been moving, and as you are no doubt aware, this is one of the most time consuming and painful processes anyone can endure.
It is for that reason alone that I have not really had any motivation with regards to writing.
I want to write, but there has been no inspiration, I just don’t feel very Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-953083692003-06-04T18:03:00.000-07:002003-06-04T18:03:34.836-07:00A poem for the masses:
Once a day I think to my mind
That mayhaps I have been unkind
In dealings with my fellow mankind.
But, once a day while in that pause
Into myself I find the cause
Of the feelings in my lack of applause
I think the best way to say
The feelings that I feel in this way
Is for me to simply put it this way
Mankind is an asshole…
But, still better than the alternative, whichCarloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-950120572003-05-28T17:00:00.000-07:002003-05-28T17:00:48.966-07:00Sometimes, when I think about it really hard… I can get my brain to move in my head. Then it hurts, so I stop.
Once when I was a kid, I killed a small child by falling on him. God, I’m glad he was there…
There was this guy in my neighborhood in New York who used to roller-skate around wearing a trash-bag and pinwheels on his head… he doesn’t do that anymore. I wonder what happened to him, Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-944166622003-05-15T16:08:00.000-07:002003-05-15T16:15:04.000-07:00I have been thinking lately that there are an awful lot of months, weeks and days devoted to the celebration of someone or other’s culture. Whether it’s Black History Month, Latino History Month, Women’s History Month etc.
So I propose a history month for those to whose culture America has overlooked.
WHITE TRASH HISTORY MONTH
And here are some of the events I propose:
A PBS Film Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-940177932003-05-08T15:57:00.000-07:002003-05-09T09:05:33.000-07:00A day in the life of President Bush:
7:00AM – Gets up, goes to TV to watch cartoons…
7:23AM – Gives up trying to figure out how to turn on TV, goes back to bed.
8:00AM – Awakened by personal valet. Fills bathtub with water and war toys.
8:02AM – Full-scale naval war!!!!
8:30AM – Calls Daddy… asks if he can be an astronaut yet.
8:31AM – Is told “no”…
8:32AM – Heads for Oval Office
8:33AM – GetsCarloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-938863372003-05-06T14:31:00.000-07:002003-05-06T14:31:34.736-07:00The other day I noticed something that disturbed me.
It was subtle, insidious, but somehow it was true… I had never really noticed it before, but there it was staring me in the face… Most homeless people are ugly.
And then, I got to thinking, why is that? Is it possible that our society is driving out the aesthetically unpleasing and forcing them to live in an underground community? Is it Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-935079822003-04-29T20:24:00.000-07:002003-04-29T20:24:04.603-07:00Okay, once again the Tuesday night estrogen-fest is in full force here in the lovely San Fernando Valley.
Buffy taping on TV 2, and since it is in the death throes of its last season, I cannot watch it without girlfriend.
Weekly Gilmore presentation infecting TV 1 and is also being taped due to Manor House presentation which is being watched on 5-inch kitchen TV. (Leaving it unwatchable, Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-932682402003-04-25T16:28:00.000-07:002003-05-09T14:29:07.000-07:00Today, I want to talk a little bit about family values. We hear a great deal about this from the right, so I feel like weighing in with what I see as the fundamental problem with this admittedly hot-button issue. Whose family are we emulating, and what are their values?
There are many families in America and throughout the world, but not all of them share the same values. So, I’ve taken a fewCarloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-930629382003-04-22T12:11:00.000-07:002003-04-22T12:16:00.000-07:00Apparently, I’m a cultural relic…
That’s what I found out this week while reading a new book called the “Hipster’s Handbook.” I found that I am not “Deck” I am most definitely on the way to being “Fin.”
My look is outdated and my tastes run to extremes. I like what I like and I make no apologies or exceptions. I post no bills. So, without further ado, I state what I am for all to see.
I Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-927235972003-04-16T09:38:00.000-07:002003-04-16T09:38:52.640-07:00Today the media asked the US military the question that is on everyone’s lips… where is Saddam, or even Osama? The military was at a loss to explain why it could not find the former president of Iraq or the most wanted man in the world, but it offered up some of the things it has found in the desert outside of Baghdad and in the caves of Afghanistan:
The Lindbergh Baby
Flight 19 (They were Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-923708422003-04-10T10:11:00.000-07:002003-04-10T10:11:47.670-07:00Seems my muse still has a few things left to say. Here is my version of what Georgey boy should have said to the Iraqi people in his first address to them today. Enjoy...
My fellow Ameriraqicans,
Today I speak to you from the White House in Washington DC, my name is President George Bush… not the one who bombed the living hell out of you a long time ago, but a new one. The first one was my Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-922308312003-04-08T09:53:00.000-07:002003-04-08T12:11:17.000-07:00Lately, a few people have upbraided me about my beliefs… I have tried to keep my blog free of political commentary for one reason and one reason alone. I am a comedian; it is no more my place to tell people what to think than it is the place of the media, the politicians, the guy next-door etc. But, this one time I will spell out what I think so as to leave no uncertainty.
I believe in peace.Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-920218982003-04-04T20:04:00.000-08:002003-04-04T20:04:25.793-08:00I have narrowed down my choices for an epitaph on my headstone should I ultimately decide to have one...
Here lies Carlos... He's Dead... We think.
Here lies Carlos... And he's not happy about it.
If you need to pee, please use back of stone.
Attention couples! Fulfill your morbid desires... screw on this grave.
Hi, my name was Carlos... I was pretty lazy... Guess I should've crossed Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-919534272003-04-03T18:30:00.000-08:002003-04-03T18:30:58.326-08:00So, here is my first new comedy offering in awhile... enjoy.
Sung to the tune of WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE by Bon Jovi:
It’s all the same
All the brand names have changed
Every day, it seems I’m working away
Another Day
And the freezer is so cold
I work all night
Then I go back home
Cuz I’m a stock-boy
On a shopping cart I ride
I’m wanted (wanted)
In Pet Supply
Wanted (wanted)
On aisle number fiveCarloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-918953492003-04-02T21:48:00.000-08:002003-04-02T21:48:34.246-08:00Well, I am sorry to those who have checked back with this blog and haven't seen anything new in quite awhile. I just got re-hired at my job, so I have been SUPER busy. I will post some new material tomorrow. Once again we will all have a good laugh... eh?Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-915109262003-03-27T15:59:00.000-08:002003-03-27T15:59:13.590-08:00Okay, in keeping with the current theme, here are some children's games I would like to see on the market:
Grandma Darts
Electroshock Dance Party
Dr. Mysterio's Botched Home Plastic Surgery Kit
Flea-A Pet
Killer Sea Monkeys From Hell
Hey Mom, look I'm Satan!
Little Pimps and Hos Play Set
Nail Stick!!!
Booger!
Let's Share Bodily Fluids In Candyland
Chutes, Ladders and Compound FracturesCarloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-914564342003-03-26T20:00:00.000-08:002003-03-27T15:42:40.000-08:00Well folks... to those of you who have been keeping up with this thing, my apologies. I have been busy trying to make cash. So for you here is a new bit:
The most unpopular wars in history... timely huh?
The great Midget/Monkey Conflict of 1803
The 1657 War to Liberate a guy named Frederick
The War Between two counties in New Jersey
Hulk Hogan Vs. Georgia
Alabama fights all comers
The greatCarloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-910807452003-03-20T13:10:00.000-08:002003-03-20T20:02:31.000-08:00Well, I missed another day of posting, but this time I really do have good reason... you see, I joined the ranks of those who have benefited from the sterling leadership in our country yesterday. I became unemployed... due to the financial hardships facing us at this moment, my company had to lay off almost the entire production staff. The first to go were those of us at the highest levels, Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-909574882003-03-18T16:43:00.000-08:002003-03-18T16:43:36.763-08:00Blaxploitation films I would like to see made:
Big Black Bitch!
Afro Jones Beats up Midgets in the Ghetto
Bigass Leroy Kicks Whitey’s Butt and then Takes His Shit
Damn! You is Black!
SuperPimp Vs. Krak-Ho: A Love Story
Nefertiti Washington Kicks Whitey’s Butt all over Hell and Half of Harlem
MuthaFucka Jones And Rufus Burn Shit and Fight A lot
MuthaFucka Jones II: More Burnt Shit, More Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-908926492003-03-17T17:58:00.000-08:002003-03-17T17:58:59.373-08:00Only one thing for me to say today... and I am ashamed to have to say it.
To the world at large:
I am truly sorry for the horror my nation is about to unleash on the world. Please do not believe that we ALL support this action... we are at the mercy of madmen who have the means to oversee everything within reason... and see nothing of reason.Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-907207332003-03-14T10:00:00.000-08:002003-03-14T10:00:42.590-08:00Well, I didn’t get to post yesterday due to the fact that I am so busy with my life as an international spy/rock star. I know that I promised myself and you, dear reader, that I would maintain a weekdaily update of this tome. (Weekends I have off… read Ziggy) But duty called… I had to perform a mission in the service of our fine nation and also a heavy metal concert in some undisclosed Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-906232782003-03-12T18:13:00.000-08:002003-03-12T18:13:07.403-08:00There are times, when I think I’m too cynical. That maybe, just maybe people aren’t what they always seem to be to my way of thinking. That I shouldn’t call people hideous names when they get in my way, that our lives are good and everyone around us is our brother. I start to get a great feeling inside when I do this, I feel warm and fuzzy all over…
Then I shave my head, and look to see just Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-905579152003-03-11T17:48:00.000-08:002003-03-11T17:48:38.280-08:00Apparently in the world we live in, it is illegal to take one’s clothes off and roll around in the fruit displays at the grocery store. It is especially frowned upon to mash the softer fruits on one’s body and yell “avast ya swabs, attach a sail to the main-mast and we’ll be off in search of booty… ARRR” This is all well and good... I completely understand the need for this restriction. Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-905049132003-03-10T21:41:00.000-08:002003-03-10T21:41:16.373-08:00To all those whom someone may have talked to tonight about my viewing habits.... YES I watched "Demolition Man" and I am not ashamed... well, only a little.
And I would like to say Happy Birthday to my wonderful girlfriend Anne, who is now 28 and not even remotely old.Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-903309542003-03-07T16:47:00.000-08:002003-03-07T18:16:26.000-08:00I just want to clarify something for my reader. (Yes, singular, and thank you for reading Mom.)
I have been accused in the past of being somehow biased against albinos. For some reason, people assume that simply because I find them funny, I also have some sort of deeply ingrained prejudice against these unfortunate people. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Albinos are people who lack Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-902675692003-03-06T15:53:00.000-08:002003-03-06T15:56:13.000-08:00Porno movies are not exactly known for their subtlety, and while thinking about that I tried to think of ones that might turn OFF a potential viewer… so here they are, the worst porno titles I could think of:
Mongolian Cluster Fuck-a-Rama
Let’s Fuck Susan!
Debbie Does Everyone and Farts alot
Midget Orgy Tales of 17th Century Erotica
Hump Me Papi! Hump Me!
Hairy Chick-o-Rama
Buford Slams Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-902033952003-03-05T15:41:00.000-08:002003-03-05T15:57:05.000-08:00Idea for a motion picture:
A pair of Siamese twins from China are raised by separate families and grow up not knowing each other. (Though both have the strange feeling that someone is watching them, which makes them a bit paranoid.) They spend their lives simply existing as peasant farmers until the day that Wang Ho Wang comes to town and slaughters their families for eating too much rice. TheCarloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-901371112003-03-04T14:35:00.000-08:002003-03-04T14:38:00.000-08:00Today’s thought will be brief. I wonder if the puritan forefathers of our country ever mistook gas after a meal as a sign of the Devil. And, if so, did they ever burn anyone for it? They seem to have been fond of that activity anyway, and that might have given them a good excuse. If I could go back in time, I would plant that idea in their heads to make really religious people seem even Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-899297222003-02-28T16:25:00.000-08:002003-02-28T21:45:17.000-08:00TV Shows I would love to see in TV Guide:
Star Trek: Jihad
Five Fat Guys Fight
The Brady Girls Meet Lori Partridge and Have a Topless Pillow Fight
The A-Team Blows Up Shit for Real
Teenage Bikini Mud Wrestler PI
G-String Junction
Jethro Bodine, MD
Daisy Duke, Medicine Woman
Damn, That Hurts!
Let’s Make Kids Cry!
Trapped in the Andes With Fourteen Vegans and No Food Survivor
LSD Nun Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-898674992003-02-27T15:42:00.000-08:002003-02-27T15:42:17.043-08:00You won’t often find me mourning, but today is not a normal day.
I know that I come off as a complete cynic, and that my humor tends towards the darker reaches of the human condition, but I do believe in many things, and some of those beliefs were shaped, in part, by a man who died today.
Fred Rogers was a passionate believer in the inherent goodness inside every human being, and in the Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-898092582003-02-26T17:48:00.000-08:002003-02-26T19:50:38.000-08:00Once upon a time there lived a man in a cabin at the edge of a dark wood. He liked living. It was his favoritest thing to do. Even more than sleeping, or eating, or walking in the grass… Even more than wildly humping the woman who lived with him. He would wake in the morning and thank his lucky stars that he was still alive. He would eat his breakfast and revel in the joy of being able to Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-897195742003-02-25T08:56:00.000-08:002003-02-25T08:56:05.450-08:00When I think on all the things I have accomplished thus far in my life...
I'm usually done in about 10 seconds and that gives me the rest of the day to fuck off.Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-896527442003-02-24T09:18:00.000-08:002003-02-24T09:18:32.046-08:00I have to confess... I have become a corporate morning coffee addict. With the dawn of every new day I try to pass my local Starbuck/Tea Leaf/ Megabuck Caffeine pit and I find myself slowing to a crawl... the aroma of espresso in my nostrils... the burning desire for that hot cup of black gold... my fix. I have tried, really tried to stop myself, to tame my dark desires with numerous Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-895144092003-02-21T12:10:00.000-08:002003-02-21T12:10:24.920-08:00Leon finished what he had to do… and then he left the hotel room as swiftly and as silently as he had come in. This was his job, it didn’t matter to him who these people were… this wasn’t personal, this was business. This one had been relatively easy, but people didn’t always understand. They got nasty with him and then when they saw that that wasn’t going to help them they begged, begged Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-894509152003-02-20T12:01:00.000-08:002003-02-20T12:05:48.000-08:00Another wonderful epic movie idea by your's truly...
A strip club impresario wakes up, only to find that it is 1620, and that he is a pilgrim. Though the puritan community resists strongly at first, he eventually manages to introduce his fellow pilgrims to the joys of bikini mud wrestling. The pilgrims take to this new activity with gusto, due to the fact that there isn't really much else to Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-893765102003-02-19T09:00:00.000-08:002003-02-19T09:00:01.413-08:00Rene DesCartes said "I think therefore I am..." a great observation until you realize that since he's dead, he doesn't therefore he isn't.Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-893161462003-02-18T09:32:00.000-08:002003-02-18T09:32:53.696-08:00I lack an origin story...
I wish that I didn't, but I do. (For those of you who don't know, an origin story is the tale that reveals the genesis of a superhero's powers... Batman's parents dying, Superman's Kryptonian heritage and Peter Parker's radioactive spider bite, all origin stories.) I mean, I know that Jack and Alicia got together and I was born, but there is nothing in my later yearsCarloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-892473412003-02-17T09:02:00.000-08:002003-02-17T09:34:58.000-08:00The truth of the matter is, that I feel somehow insignificant due to the fact that I do not yet possess my own network talk/variety show. I want to live the life illustrated on THE LARRY SANDERS SHOW, I want to have the self importance of having a theater and or studio named after me. The Carlos Larkin Theater would be open to all celebrities regardless of race, creed or last performance at theCarloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-891002282003-02-14T09:17:00.000-08:002003-02-14T09:17:26.856-08:00In this world with so much pain, it is almost incumbent upon us to create a little levity. We should strive to keep the world a happy place. Thus, I propose a new form of radically different entertainment... let's put some babies in a box and shake it to see if we can get them to fight.Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-890431042003-02-13T10:03:00.000-08:002003-02-13T10:03:16.280-08:00Things overheard at the Up With Midgets rally in Iowa this week:
"Boy, you sure have nice knees..."
"Could someone open the door, I can't reach the knob... hellooo? Anyone?"
"Y'know, I think the little sumbitch was right, they really ought to make these urinals a little lower... "
"I sure hope they make another Christmas picture soon, I haven't worked as an elf in months."
"I used to be Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-889958532003-02-12T14:19:00.000-08:002003-02-12T14:20:17.000-08:00No one is reading
This blog I am bleeding
So I will keep bleating
Till I start repeating
Then I'll be needing
Some courtesy seating
These last lines I'm cheating
I'll just rhyme it with eatingCarloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-889792552003-02-12T08:37:00.000-08:002003-02-12T08:37:07.006-08:00Yet another day passes without my having become a multi-billionare pseudo-celebrity. Another day that I haven't controlled the fate of the world in my hands. Yet another day where I have not risen above Joe Average to be something better than this world expects. And, I still haven't met a big Korean named Oddjob.Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-889199472003-02-11T09:04:00.000-08:002003-02-11T09:04:37.930-08:00Apparently I hurl epithets... this is what I have been told by my car-mate in the morning who shall remain nameless. I guess the morning commute is laced with invective to the point that it makes me seem like somewhat of an aggressive psychotic. A typical exchange would be thus:
"(Expletive deleted) you (Expletive deleted)!!!! Can't you learn how to (Expletive deleted) drive? What the (Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-888574612003-02-10T08:49:00.000-08:002003-02-10T08:49:53.690-08:00Dreams as analyzed by Dr. Frung
The field of dream analysis is a relatively new one in the history of mankind, (although Voltaire is known to have once dreamt that he was up to his neck in a vat of custard, custard being the one thing he refused to eat, upon waking he demanded to know what the dream meant and why his socks were missing) therefore in an attempt to make it more accessible to theCarloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-887149422003-02-07T09:41:00.000-08:002003-02-07T09:41:02.850-08:00Man, all I can say after watching that Michael Jackson thing last night is, THAT GUY IS STRANGE. I can't even imagine what he was thinking... I have done a lot of weird things in my life, but I have NEVER spent eight months with Michael Jackson.
Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-886552452003-02-06T08:53:00.000-08:002003-02-06T08:54:46.000-08:00Whenever I get the urge to slap a policeman in the head, I try to remember the fact that they have a difficult job protecting society from people who would eat the last Twinkie in the box without any remorse. I reflect upon the danger they put themselves in. I ponder the idea that they are the "thin blue line" that keeps us safe at night. I make my peace with the idea that in a civilized Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-886330732003-02-05T21:37:00.000-08:002003-02-06T08:46:40.000-08:00I just overheard a commercial for some product or other that featured the singing of Andreas Bocelli. For those of you who have no idea who this is, he is the blind opera singing guy. The commercial got me thinking, why is it that musical talent seems to be the consolation prize for not being able to see? I mean Bocelli, Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles, and do I even need to mention how many blues Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-886255832003-02-05T19:00:00.000-08:002003-02-05T19:00:17.333-08:00Note to Self: I must remember that making me wait in line is no justification for accusing the pharmacist of fascism... I will apologize to him as soon as my hair grows back.
Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-885969342003-02-05T08:51:00.000-08:002003-02-05T15:28:02.000-08:00I often wonder if my dogs have a name for me in their own language. And more especially, do both of them use the same name? Because I know they seem to understand each other... did they agonize over what to call me when I got them like I did with their names? The reason I wonder is because, to my knowledge, I have never really sat down and told them what my real name is... so if they heard Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-885751542003-02-04T21:45:00.000-08:002003-02-04T21:46:22.000-08:00So... my exile gave way to thoughts that have plagued me for many years... namely, if I had to choose and could not reverse my decision, which would I rather be Batman or Superman? When I was a child, it was no contest... Batman had the series in color. Then I grew older and Superman just seemed cooler... you know, not as gay. But now, as an adult, their are more factors to consider... Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-885711782003-02-04T20:18:00.000-08:002003-02-04T20:18:41.873-08:00Have been remanded to computer due to television onslaught of Tuesday night estrogenfest. Gilmore Girls now infesting television one, to great and unending delight of girlfriend who finds their banter much too amusing. TV two is currently taping Buffy estrogenfest, thus rendering said entertainment vessel unuseable for male televisual entertainment. (Though Buffy HIGHLY entertaining, have beenCarloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-885384852003-02-04T09:01:00.000-08:002003-02-04T09:14:01.000-08:00Sometimes, when I am in my bed... in that place between this world, and the world of dreams... I hear the voice of a Shriner with a lisp, and he says "Excuse me, but how do you get to Pizmo Beach?" and I wake up screaming... because I have never been to Pizmo Beach. And, I have no idea how to get there...
That, and I'm deathly afraid of Shriners.Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-884948082003-02-03T14:26:00.000-08:002003-02-03T14:31:05.000-08:00A POEM,
BY RUFUS THE SELF-PITYING ONE-LEGGED HAIRLESS MIDGET WITH A REMAINING CLUB FOOT
How is your day going?
I hope that it is fine...
But, just recall...
Your worst of all...
Won't be half as bad as mine.
Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-884852642003-02-03T11:10:00.000-08:002003-02-03T15:39:00.000-08:00Employment Haiku:
Please to let go home
I not want work anymore
Please keep give me checks
Fruit war update:
The peach and some of its compatriots may be making plans for a counter-strike. Must do something to reduce the number of grapes/pawns.Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-884387372003-02-02T14:35:00.000-08:002003-02-02T14:35:15.600-08:00The blog continues to live, and yet the comments section languishes...
The dog rolls in the mud, and the sun is high in this domain.
Soon the peach will die.Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-883848382003-02-01T10:13:00.000-08:002003-02-01T10:13:41.310-08:00Nothing very funny about today... so this is the only post.
To those families whose loved ones were lost in the Space Shuttle Columbia...
My deepest sympathies.Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-883547532003-01-31T16:55:00.000-08:002003-01-31T17:00:02.000-08:00So... today at lunch I came up with a video game that I think would sell in droves.
BRADY BUNCH: BOUNTY HUNTER
In the game you can play as one of the six Brady siblings as you move through 22 huge interactive worlds, hunting down and eliminating members of other TV families throughout. Each level features a different TV family.
LEVEL 1) The Partridges... Special points for killing Danny or Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-883455142003-01-31T13:07:00.000-08:002003-01-31T13:08:00.000-08:00Random thought: You know I'm really shocked, considering the popularity of the James Bond movies, that I have never run into a really big Korean guy named Oddjob.Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-883448472003-01-31T12:52:00.000-08:002003-01-31T18:26:10.000-08:00Great origin story for a new comic book. Or even a movie franchise? Warner Brothers are you paying Attention?
Lawrence was upset… His plans in life had gone awry and his current situation gave him no solace. He had tried; he had REALLY tried this time. All to no avail… Lawrence decided to become an Über Villain.
He spent hours designing his new costume. He spent days adding the sequins Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-883375132003-01-31T10:14:00.000-08:002003-01-31T10:14:59.526-08:00Just got another e-mail from the friend, who explained further his reticence to participate. He is going through a myriad of problems right now, and does not feel like participating in ANYTHING. As he put it, "I'm in I don't give a shit mode."
Pissy mood lifted. Friend forgiven, and his prize-eligibility reinstated.
No fruit to speak of...Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-883342802003-01-31T09:05:00.000-08:002003-01-31T09:05:17.666-08:00I'm in kind of a pissy mood right now. Got what I consider to be a nasty e-mail from a friend about of all things... the blog. He doesn't wish to participate, which is fine, but considering he's a writer it just seems that he would support another writer's flexing of the literary muscle. But noooooooooo... he is too good for us here at Raised on Ritalin. (I say us, but I think this Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-882949312003-01-30T15:43:00.000-08:002003-01-30T16:11:17.000-08:00A poem... and cautionary tale... for the kids.
Mary had a little lamb...
Whose fleece was white as snow...
And everywhere that Mary went...
The lamb was sure to go...
It followed her to school one day...
It was against the rules...
So... they kicked Mary out for being a "subversive" and she wound up her life working as a prostitute in a German red-light district due to her lack of Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-882942132003-01-30T15:28:00.000-08:002003-01-30T15:28:33.793-08:00The apple has been nibbled by vermin...
It vexes me no longer.Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-882769352003-01-30T09:33:00.000-08:002003-01-31T18:25:11.000-08:00Well, day two of this experiment is now here. The results have been most satisfying. There is something positively exhilarating about communicating in this way...
I dea for a movie:
A man discovers that he is in fact the heir to a long line of Superclowns from Outer Space, whose powers have been protecting mankind for thousands of years. The only way for them to hide their true identities isCarloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-882503392003-01-29T20:58:00.000-08:002003-01-29T20:59:43.000-08:00The story thus far...
The orange is still mine. All is well. Soon the apple will pay the price of its insolence...
Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-882426712003-01-29T18:29:00.000-08:002003-01-29T18:29:17.653-08:00The hour grows late, and soon I will leave this cubicle for greener pastures. I worry that my blog has become nothing more than a journal of my war against fruit. I will not let this happen. There will be thoughts and musings such as you have never seen. There will be the stuff of art, of high minded escapades, with crudity thrown in for good measure. The blog will stand the test, I have Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-882395962003-01-29T17:27:00.000-08:002003-01-29T17:27:21.490-08:00I am at work, thus this song...
"Show me the way to go home,
I'm tired and wanna go to bed,
I had a little drink about an hour ago,
And it went right to my head.
No matter where I roam,
O'r land or sea or foam,
You'll always hear me singin' this song,
Show me the way to go home."
Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies...Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5002676.post-882391582003-01-29T17:18:00.000-08:002003-01-29T17:18:05.633-08:00I have finished eating the orange...
it is no more.
Though it is STILL mine.
Until... well, you know what will become of the orange.Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09151188429140458442noreply@blogger.com